Four Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me During My Darkest Days

“Practice what you preach.”

It’s a quote I have often shared with others — yet, for a long time, I struggled to live by it myself.

I’ve always believed in certain values and behaviors. I’ve encouraged others to be strong, to choose hope, to prioritize their well-being. But in my darkest moments, I found myself slipping into habits and patterns I’m not proud of. And that contradiction weighed heavily on me.

Still, those very moments led me to an important realization.

Today, I want to share the personal “rules” I return to whenever I feel myself drifting into despair. They are not perfect formulas, but gentle reminders — proof that there is hope, even in the darkest spaces.

Here is my message to you.

1️⃣ Be gentle with yourself

There’s a saying: “It’s okay not to be okay.”

When your body aches and your mind feels heavy, allow yourself to rest. Take a day off if you need it. Communicate your needs. You don’t have to force yourself into social plans when all you truly want is the comfort of your favorite blanket.

Don’t criticize yourself for unwashed dishes or an unmade bed. They will get done. Your peace matters more.

Cancel plans if you must. Choose solitude when you need it. Stop apologizing for protecting your energy.

Treat yourself with the same kindness you so easily extend to others.

2️⃣ Stop pretending

We’ve all heard “fake it until you make it.” And yes, sometimes perseverance is necessary.

But when it comes to your mental health — especially when the weight feels unbearable — a fake smile will not carry you through the day. It will only exhaust you further.

I once had a friend gently remind me of this. When she asked, “How are you?” she truly meant it. It wasn’t small talk. And I realized how often I dismissed sincere concern with automatic answers.

If someone genuinely cares enough to ask, let them in. Tell them the truth. Let them know you’re struggling. Let them know you’re trying.

There are people who want to see your real smile again. Allow them to support you. You do not have to carry everything alone.

3️⃣ Understand that progress takes time

Healing is not instant. Growth is not linear.

We live in a world that demands speed — quick results, quick fixes, immediate gratification. But meaningful mental well-being does not work that way. It asks for patience. It asks for compassion. It asks for persistence.

There will be setbacks. There will be days when giving up feels easier. I still have those days.

But if you are reading this, consider it your sign: keep going.

Don’t settle for “just okay.” You deserve more than survival. You deserve stability, strength, and eventually, joy.

Keep fighting for yourself — even on the days when it feels impossible.

4️⃣ Remember: this is temporary

This may be the most important reminder of all.

How many times have you believed the pain would never end? How many times did fear convince you that this darkness was permanent?

I once came across a quote that changed everything for me:

“My current situation is not my permanent destination.”

And suddenly, something shifted.

The pain was real — but it was not forever. It was a chapter, not the whole story.

I made a conscious decision to build a life I could be proud of. And today, I am proud — not because life is perfect, but because I kept going.